X-miss

X-miss Guatemala lives in a hut by the sea,
She eats clams and yams and makes cucumber tea.
The sand and the moon and the wind are her friends
And even her left hand she sometimes pretends
Is a valiant knight with a tenacious steed
‘El Perlita’ – Gauatamala’s finest breed.

But her hand grows tired and lax in the dark,
For she remembers now what this day does mark.
One year exactly since that fateful night,
When tequila and cheek had caused her to fight
That puta Yolanda – the daughter of a judge,
The one with a sharp tongue and a tireless grudge
Against her beauty, charm and pledge for world peace,
For Yolanda was tactless, frumpy and obese.

And so Miss Guatemala fell from grace
Disappearing from her village without a trace.
Now she is queen of her hut, shore and dune,
She hopes she can be beautiful again soon.