The Jellyfish

Carte Blanche isn’t what it used to be. The expose show that used to catch parliamentarians with transsexual prostitutes on hidden camera seems to have softened up in recent times. I remember the days when Ruda didn’t wear make-up and her asexual candor let you know that ‘this was the truth’. It seems that the show is Oprah flavoured now, with more ‘human interest’ stories and less of the smut and scandal we fell in love with in the beginning.

I say this after watching a segment in last night’s show about Norah Vincent, a lesbian who decided to infiltrate ‘the world of men’ by dressing up as a man and observing male behaviour for 18 months. Her book called ‘Self-made Man’ details her disclosure. On the cover there are pictures of Norah/Ned in both female and male versions just in case you thought the whole thing was a hoax. Personally I found the whole concept a little stale. I mean any man knows what men are like. Why do we need to have a lesbian dress up as a man and then only do we believe what men are really like? It made it sound like this woman was privy to the inner workings of the CIA as she casually observed their every move, disguised as a pack of cigarettes.

Perhaps if I don a dress and rouge up my cheeks, I can get girls to confess to all sorts of things. Just think of the power that transgender people wield! Their motives may appear ‘confused’ to a naïve observer, but operatives like Mrs Doubtfire and Tootsie were calculated agents able to assume the sexual impassivity of a jellyfish if required. And just when you least expect it, a phallic, yet fallopian tendril appears out of nowhere, and stings you where it hurts.