Galaxy

In a surprise press conference David Beckham has announced that he will join Tom Cruise’s ‘club’ of Scientologists in a bid to assimilate himself and his family into the American way of life. Struggling not use the word ‘football’ or ‘Mars-bar’ for fear of offending his new Californian hosts, Beckham explained that Scientology was exactly what him and Posh need to break into the American social scene.

“Tom has already promised us we can meet Oprah yeah. And Deepak Chopsticks. And he’s a good guy yeah. Katie is just great. Great cook”

Beckham went on to explain that he had loaned their youngest son Cruz David Beckham to the Scientology club for the weekend. He’s around three years old.

“Lotta stuff you should teach a young lad. But I ardly ave the time. Maybe they can show him yeah”.

Under all the bright lights of the press room David Beckham could hardly fit another thought in his tired brain. He rose bashfully and dismissed the reporters with a single Dianetical wave.